Monday, June 17, 2013

where's yer mama now???

last week, i was hobbling down broadway and felt a whoosh of wind, a flutter of action, and a sharp peck on my head. it took a second to realize i'd been attacked by a crow. was this personal??? the caws in the background felt like mocking. not wanting a repeat, i pepped up my step only to see the bird swoop down for another go... thankfully, my tormentor was jilted by my quickening pace and waving arms, but it persisted in pursuit, following me 2 city blocks until i safely reached home... freaked out, i hit to net to look up "crow attack." hmm... apparently mother crows do this each spring in an attempt to protect their babies. they even do it in japan. "LOOK CROW, i have NO INTEREST WHATSOEVER in your child!!!"

yesterday, ash/i were walking through our backyard and saw a little black creature perched on the patio deck. it was a baby crow, too young for flight. it looked a little odd, a little confused, and nothing like the aggressive winged beast that went for my dome a few days prior (or the ones who gave me a 5 am wake up call the day before, maybe a cat or squirrel were innocently in the vicinity???). i looked up in the trees and listened for it's mother??? hmm... silence. nowhere to be seen. i quickly went inside, grabbed a slingshot, and smoked that little critter right in the kisser. "WHERE'S YOUR MAMA NOW, CROW???"


  1. i've actually enjoyed speaking to crows over the years. this is very unsettling!@#$%!!!

  2. so wait, you killed a baby crow???

  3. everything was real before "grabbed a..." and after "kisser"!@#$%!!!