draft 1 (unfinished works)

opening (???): excuse me, but i just gotta get this out, before i let it out...

the subject of "worst meals ever" comes up from time to time. when thought about in hindsight, it's usually good for a laugh or two. it can also cause a twinge or sick feeling to your stomach. while these bad turns often encompass more than the food itself they can definitely evolve into dramatic tales worthy of shakespeare or whoever else pens a dramatic piece these days...

today, w/ an unsettling taste still in my mouth (even after multiple glasses of water), i simply want to talk about some shitty eats. will it make the notorious "top 5"??? quite possibly, but perhaps a little too early to tell, see how long the (bad) taste lingers... the company was family and friends; no problem there. all good people. i will try my best not to harbour any resentment to the person who chose this particular spot ("cheap and cheerful" was the initial idea). the location, prestons on west pender. OMG!@#$%!!! the salt... the salt... grit. shell. over-cooked. bland. the salt... the salt... now looking at the "modern" west coast vibe of their website, i thought this place was gonna be like an earls, cactus club or milestones. would've been an improvement (and that's not saying too much). like i said before, the company was good. but even w/ a stand up server, it was a flaccid experience. i get the feeling that the staff realize this too and work w/ a knowing look of defeat. even the room itself, was a little unsettling, a mish-mash of styles (an empty communal table in the front of the restaurant w/ wood looking finish). in the second chamber not visible to the street, we entered the x-files, very 1990s, dark and dated. our party of eight was seated in a very long booth. comfy enough, but so deep that the servers weren't able to reach the end of the table w/ our food and drink orders. jokes from the wait staff like, "now you're working for us," fell to deaf ears (bar mine, i guess) as we passed another glass or plate down. they even applauded our adeptness at this help. "you should see others...



notes: salt hangover. headache. gas. upset stomach. the horror. salt burned tongue. taste buds sent through the small holes of a cheese grater. 1 unopened clam, did pencil erasers always taste like cheese?, complete waste of (hard earned) money. burning the $40 w/ a lighter would have been more satisfying...